This feels like the first year in a long while that holds both anticipation and mystery…or…maybe ‘suspense’ is a better word right now.
Our family will likely be moving to Miami Florida this year or next. My husband’s job is the reason but the timing is based on lots of things that make it less certain as to it being now or later….thus…suspense.
I’ve been processing a lot of the stuff that has come up for me since we’ve learned about this and I’m not super certain what it is that I am up against. I feel helpless and peaceful. I feel hopeful and grief. I feel sad and excited. I feel angry and optimistic. I can’t make sense of it some days and other days I feel like I’m able to float in the unknown a little longer. A swirl of emotions and thoughts is what I’ve been living in the past 2 months and now…we just wait.
So, in some ways I don’t know how to make goals for 2019 and in other ways I feel like my list is way longer then I care to admit because of everything that could be unfolding the next few months.
But here’s what I got it narrowed down to:
- I feel like God is inviting me into a year of watching what He’s doing. I feel like God has made it clear, that there’s more going on then I can see. Somehow I have a peace that settles on me whenever that thought comes up which tells me it’s not just something I’ve conjured up. He’s on the move and I’ve been invited along to watch and participate. That’s confusing and unsettling some days, and other days I feel the adventure of it. Today I feel a mix of both and more then anything I want to make sure that I’m listening well on behalf of my family and myself to what it is God may be saying to us about this move. So, discernment and space to listen is on my list of things I would like to see happen this year. Practically speaking I’m still working that out…it might look like a day away by myself or disciplined journaling but I pray over this year that there would be time to stop and discern with the Spirit what He might have for us.
- I desire to continue giving myself to that process of loosing weight. I let myself enjoy these past few weeks of holiday food and fun and now it’s time to hunker back into my WW routine, loose that holiday weight and keep moving towards my goal. I think I almost gained 10 lbs these past 2 weeks, so that’s my January project to hit rid of that v weight. From there my goal for February will be to loose 5 lbs, no matter what weight I’m at by the end of January.
- I also want to give myself to the discipline of communication in my marriage. My husband and I were talking out some of our stuff with my mom over the holiday and explaining where we tend to miss each other and what walls we bump into. She was a stellar listener and gave us helpful ideas of things we might do to prioritize some areas of our relationship and family without feeling overwhelmed by all the things we….let’s be real…the things that I see us wanting to do. I’m always looking at ways I can grow and our marriage can grow, etc. My type 1 on the Enneagram is laced into that restorative mindset but my poor husband can feel like I’m a task master. I’m not interested in being perceived that way but I also can’t help seeing all the places I would love to see us growing. My mom suggested we prioritize 3 areas we want to make a point to talk about each month and then finding times to set aside and make that happen. My husband and I took that idea and decided that our 3 topics are marriage, parenting and money. We have about 4 Fridays a month so if we give a topic to 3 of those then the last one is used for fun! Date night fun, with babysitter so we have a night that’s just about having fun together and not trying to achieve anything, check off a box, or have a serious conversation. We always find time for those serious convos, but we don’t always make time for fun. So, our Friday/Saturdays this year may be ear marked for one of those things.
- Blogging! I love doing this on the side of motherhood and wife-ing so my goal is to get through as much of the cookbook as I can and keep learning from Deb. That may be an obvious goal, but I’m listing it anyways. I think my goal will still be to do about 1 recipe a week, which means I could technically get through 48 more, but I’ll be happy with 30!
- Finding a word for this year. I feel like I’m turning a corner from the word “Savor” that God has impressed upon me the past few years. I’m kind of sensing this year is about “Trust/Believe”…and it feels like it has as much to do with my relationship with God as it does with my husband and personal growth. I wonder if my phrase may be,”Let Go”….however, it dawns on my as I type this out that I can’t let go if trust is not first established. I guess I feel confused by that in some ways because I don’t find myself being very distrusting of God and others….quiet the opposite in fact. Yet, I hold that I don’t have to know God’s direction or end goal in order for me to claim it as my word/phrase for 2019. So, I’m praying about it a bit and I’ll try and report back if I feel like it’s sharpened up a bit as to what God is giving me.
I think that’s it for now. I would love to know what things you desire your year to be about or if you have a word that came up for you. Message me or share in the comments below.
Happy New Year, Novice Life Followers. I appreciate each of you and wish you blessings in the year ahead.